“Motherhood can be seen as a liability”

A good friend of mine and also a working mother forwarded me an article about one woman’s experience working at Amazon. (The article can be found here)  This article was in response to the NY Times article recently posted, explaining her experience when she had a baby and was diagnosed with cancer during her tenure at Amazon.  My friend and I started reading comments on both articles sending  snippets back and forth though G-chat and commenting on the stories we were reading.  As a working mother precious hours have come back into my life from the use of Amazon Prime.  My doorstep is littered almost daily with these prime boxes bringing almost anything to my door from diapers to new shoes to sunscreen.   I commented I wanted to find holes in the article because “I really love my prime and I want to have a reason not to cancel.”  Judging from the 5858 comments posted to the article to date, most people are outraged about a company’s desire to have their employees available 24/7 and with over 80 hour work weeks.  Many people commented on their personal acts of protest in canceling their prime accounts.  While the treatment of employees by Amazon is seen my most as immoral and downright wicked, I can’t help but feeling like this is a snapshot of the overall culture in the workplace.  The major difference between Amazon and other workplaces is its pride in this culture.

“Motherhood can be seen as a liability” is a line that stuck out to me in the article.  I think the author makes a great point here.  Mothers (and fathers) are often unable to sustain an 80+ hour work week and still care for their children.  Employees often experience that having children will prevent them from putting in the hours necessary for advancement.   When time is taken off for having children it often stalls your career or in the case of many of the woman who posted the follow-up article put on a performance improvement plan due to missing months of work and “falling behind” fellow co-workers.  Shouldn’t we start to evaluate the problem?   While people are quick to point fingers at Amazon and start their own personal strike from Amazon, the bigger problem still exists.  Most laws are written to favor the employer.  There is still no legally mandated paid maternity or paternity leave; these are considered to be benefits not rights to the worker.   Salaried exempt employees can be forced to work exuberant numbers of hours with no additional compensation.  What other instances would be okay with paying the same amount and getting less?  I know I would be mad if all of a sudden I went to buy my $3 dozen egg container and only received one egg.  Who would be ok with paying $3 an egg instead of the usual 25¢?  Isn’t that what is happening in the workplace?  Employers are paying an employee $400/week for 40 hours as their salary but now the employer is expecting 80 hours a week; the same employee is making 50% less for what?  While we all balk at these practices nonetheless we all comply out of fear or retribution.  We are more focused on creating a life than we are on living our lives.

In writing this post, I have reflected on my own household.  I would be proud to declare that I work 7am – 3pm in my corporate job, my husband 7:30am – 4pm.  We then come home and focus on our family, no distractions just good solid family time.  Is that really the case?  Recently, my toddler picked up and old non-working computer that we have set aside a toy and happily sat and banged on the keyboard.  I asked him what he’s was doing and he replied with “ I work” in those toddler words that just instantly melt your heart.  Where did he learn that? Obviously he learned that from my husband and me, we’ve obviously been on our computers working during the time that we define as “family time.”  How many nights at my house consisted of my husband and I sitting on our couch computers in our laps keeping an eye on sleeping kids through the baby monitor catching up on emails or reviewing documents.  Many more nights that I would care to admit.

Despite this, we are the lucky ones.  We work for employers that are considered to be “family friendly.”  I’ve always been allowed 12 weeks maternity leave however only 5 weeks are actually paid and they are paid through short-term disability (don’t even get me started on how pregnancy and having a child is a disability).  My husband has been fortunate enough to work for employers that gave him 2 weeks paid paternity leave and allowed him to take longer terms off using vacation time.  Despite our “family friendly” employers no one balks when they get an email response at 11pm many times they respond themselves.   Many companies are in the news about how they are expanding paternal leave and have new policies regarding work-life balance.  But in the words of one of the NY time interviewees “work comes first, family comes second and trying to find a balance comes last.”  In the end of the day it’s all about making money and the worker comes second….. or third. 

The workplace should consider some of the skills required to be a parent as marketable skills.  As a mother I have learned to multitask in a way that I never thought possible.  I am more organized and more focused than previously.  I’ve also matured in a way that I would not have otherwise in my opinion.  Anyone who has ever had interactions with a toddler will tell you that can certainly teach you how to think outside the box.  I’m more patient an area that many of my co-workers would attest was a definite area for improvement.  Just as everything in my work life comes into my home life, everything in my home life comes into my work life.

 I’m thankful for this Amazon article and to every Amazon employee.  While Amazon maybe the extreme, the struggle of being a good parent and a good employee is one of thousands of Americans.   By highlighting the struggles of Amazon employees, hopefully some change can occur. At what point do we value our lives more than the number on our W2?  Are we going to sit on our death bed and contemplate the promotion we didn’t get or will it be the missed sporting events?